Today’s blog is about something extremely important that you probably won’t be able to do. I mean, really great teachers can do it, but not everyone is a really great teacher. If, by some small chance, you are able to do it—and I’m not sure you will—you’re going to find it hard. Not just a little hard. Super challenging. Most teachers can’t do this at all. So, if you’re like most teachers—and most teachers are—then this is going to be nearly impossible. Let’s be realistic. You can try if you want, but don’t expect that you should be able to do it. I have absolutely zero faith in your ability to do this.
How’d that feel?
A third of the people who read that paragraph are extremely irate and are determined to read on and prove to me that they can do whatever it is I told them they probably couldn't.
Another third of the readers have already given up, clicked on the X in the top right of the screen, and moved on because they are pretty sure I’m right.
And the rest of them may attempt but will doubt themselves all along the way, and their doubts will hinder their chances of success.
This is what happens when teachers don’t believe in their students. Many of us, as successful adults who've been to college, can look back and identify those people in our lives who were our constant cheerleaders, our most ardent encouragers, our biggest fans. We succeeded partly because of our own abilities and initiative and partly because of those people who believed in us. At times, we've done things we didn't think we could do because of those supporters who knew we could.
Not all of our students have supporters, cheerleaders, encouragers, and fans in their lives. Every day, some receive messages telling them they can’t do it, that they’re not good enough, and that they will have to be content where they are. These students look to teachers to be the ones who believe in them, open doors, and allow them to soar.
Several years ago, I walked into a yoga class at my gym on a Saturday afternoon. I’d been practicing yoga for several years but had never been to that particular class or met that particular instructor. As I walked in, the teacher eyed my middle-aged, not-so-flexible body and said, “Hello. You’re probably going to have a lot of difficulty in this class. It’s really challenging.” I almost picked up my mat and walked out. But instead I adopted the “I’ll show her” mentality and huffed and puffed, sweated and strained my way through the 75 minutes. She was right; it wasn't a breeze. Several of the poses required bending and stamina that was beyond me, but at no point did the teacher offer a word of encouragement or even a validation of my effort. I haven’t been back to her class.
I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. That yoga teacher set up an expectation for failure the moment I entered the room, and I reacted with resentment. Others would respond by feeling defeated before they began. Few, if any, would surpass the instructor’s expectations and achieve at a high level.
I wonder how often as teachers we do that with our students. I sometimes catch myself saying things to them that are less encouraging than I could be. On occasion, I disparage their collective lack of success. And some days, I become that yoga teacher, setting up barriers to success that my students can’t—or don’t want to—get past. I get so caught up with pointing out the bad that I forget to celebrate the good.
My favorite yoga teachers are the ones who praise consistently. The point out the things we’re doing well. They notice effort and applaud improvement. They make their students believe in themselves. And their students sometimes surprise themselves when they realize what they've been able to do.
I began this post by trying to make you feel defeated, but I want to end it with a word of hope.
Think what a difference we can make in our classrooms—in our schools, even—if we show our students every day that we believe in them. As we empower our students, we will all experience and celebrate greater success. We can do this. It only takes a shift in what we say and the way we say it. That’s completely within our control. Let’s make it happen.
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