A Discouraging Word

            Home, home on the range

            Where the deer and the antelope play,

            Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,

            And the skies are not cloudy all day.

The range must have been a pretty happy place. Not only did the deer and antelope want to be there, but they also wanted to play. It felt like home.

 

Can the same be said about our classrooms?

It is so easy to notice the negative. I’m the worst.

I can read a wonderfully written essay and become fixated on one fairly insignificant comma error. I will sit through an exciting and engaging concert and come away thinking, “If only they hadn’t chosen that song as their encore. . . .” The one item out of place on an otherwise tidy kitchen counter makes me feel like the entire house is a mess. And that kid in the third row who is staring off into space while all the other students are reading makes me a little bit insane.

For most teachers, it’s so much easier to notice the students who are not meeting expectations than it is to notice the ones who are.

When we notice the negative, we often feel compelled to correct it. Once we start, it’s hard to stop. Our class becomes a dysfunctional family, and we are the nagging parent:

“I told you yesterday to bring your textbook. Why did none of you remember?”

“You don’t have a pen? What did you think we were going to do today, just sit here and do nothing?”

“What part of ‘Be quiet!’ was confusing?”

“You didn’t bring your homework again? You need to learn to meet deadlines and follow through. The real world has deadlines.”

“If you don’t start working and paying attention, you’re going to find yourself in summer school or taking this class again next year. And let me assure you, we don’t change it up and make it more interesting for those who come back a second time.”

“Stop. Talking.”

“You know where notebooks are stored. You’re not new. Go get yours. You’re holding up the entire class.”

“I’m waiting….”

“Susan, turn around and pay attention. Joel, we are on page 147. Get out your books, everyone. I don’t want to have to tell you again. Lisa, stop talking! Page 147, Jennifer! Michael, this is not gym class. Sit down!”

The discouraging words fly with such velocity and frequency that no deer, antelope, or human would want to spend time in this maelstrom of negativity.

It’s so easy to slip into the routine of letting the toxic negativity spew. This kind of negativity, unfortunately, permeates the lives of many of our students. They hear it at home; they hear it from peers; and then they get to hear it at school. Some of them have learned to tune it out. Others let it beat them into submission. No one thrives in its presence.

Some researchers believe that the human brain responds to negativity and criticism by shutting down. The “fight-or-flight” impulses of the amygdala take over, and the brain enters into a self-preservation mode during which no learning occurs. We can all think of times where criticism or negativity has affected us to such an extent that we could focus on little else. Teachers’ well-intentioned efforts to correct negative behaviors may be blocking student learning.  

Pay attention to the negative and positive comments you make in class. Perhaps you can record a class and count the interactions, noting the ratio of negative to positive interactions. Or ask a colleague or instructional coach to visit your class and tally them for you. If you’re like many teachers, the negative will outweigh the positive in a big way.

Once you notice that you’ve fallen into the rut of pointing out the bad, you can take steps to change your own negative behaviors. It’s time to become a celebrator of the good.

In his book High-Impact Instruction, Jim Knight devotes an entire chapter to becoming a “witness to the good.” He writes,

We are a witness to the good when we are attentive and intentional about noticing everything our students do--not just the misbehavior. We are being a witness to the good when we are especially attentive to the times when students are making the best of learning opportunities. We are being a witness to the good whenever we recognize and encourage students for acting in ways that are consistent with expectations. (316)

Becoming a witness to the good helps build connection with your students. Students who feel this bond of attachment, loyalty, and comfort will be more willing to do what you ask them to do in your classroom.

Praise should significantly outweigh criticism. Some experts recommend a six-to-one praise-to-correction ratio; some even advocate for more positive comments than that.

The type of praise matters, too. Praise can actually be harmful or counter-productive if students perceive that it’s insincere or hollow. One of the best ways to give productive praise is to make your comments descriptive rather than attributive. Praise students’ work, efforts, and behaviors rather than their traits and characteristics. Instead of saying, “You are such a kind person,” consider telling a student, “People seem to respond favorably to you,” or, “The words you use to speak to your classmates are very respectful.”  Telling a student that she is smart is less helpful than telling her that her thinking shows depth, that her analysis is specific and thoughtful, or that she understands the material and is able to think about it in a complex way. Thanking a student for having his materials on his desk will have more impact than giving negative attention to his neighbor for not being prepared.

Using praise effectively--becoming a witness to the good--can reduce classroom management issues while simultaneously transforming your classroom into a happy oasis of learning for the students...and any stray deer or antelope that might wander in. 

Thank you for keeping it positive and squelching the discouraging words.